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Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' title='Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' />How To Survive a Killer Clown Attack. Alamo Drafthouse locations across the country are hosting all clown screenings of It this weekend in an ill advised attempt to turn the publics innate and rational fear of clowns into some sort of fun marketing stunt. To reiterate theres a solid chance youre going to see gangs of clowns roaming the streets. Monsters University is a 2013 American 3D computeranimated comedy film produced by Pixar Animation Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. Disneys Hollywood Studios is undergoing many exciting changes Two current Cast Members from Hollywood Studios sat down with me to talk about this very special. To be fair, the vast majority of the clowns you might bump into this weekend are merely going to be overenthusiastic Stephen King fans who gleefully responded to the Alamo Drafthouses sick call to arms. But, as is always the case when there are more clowns wandering the streets than normal, it is important to remember that some clowns arent just people in awful Party City makeup. Some clowns arent people at alltheyre murderous, bloodthirsty monsters whod like nothing more than sink their filthy teeth into your unsuspecting flesh. We here at io. 9 take clown safety very seriously, so we wanted to familiarize everyone with a how to differentiate between harmless human clowns and their much more murderous cousins and b how to confront a clown should the situation call for it. Remember, people, clowns are muchless afraid of you than you are of them, so itd behoove you to have a game plan at the ready unless youre trying to get got. Step 1 Figure Out What Kind of Clown It Is. The most unsettling, dangerous thing about clowns is that it can at times be difficult to identify what type of harlequin youre dealing with. IZ7DAD-_-wish-i-would-have-known-disney-college-p.jpg' alt='Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' title='Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' />There are regular clowns, gangster crime lord clowns, deranged serial killer clowns, and then all manners of primordial, supernatural evil simply masquerading as clowns. You should always try to determine whether the clown in question is, in fact, a regular human, given that theyre the least likely to actually try and kill you. Thankfully, these clowns are often the easiest to pick out in a crowd because of the noticeably normal things they tend to do. Is the clown using a cellphone Does the clowns costume and makeup look rather shoddily put together Is the clown interacting amicably with a visibly human person If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then youre probably in luck. CollegeProg_Home_Aug2_2003.jpg' alt='Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' title='Disney College Program Merchandise Cast Member' />This clowns just trying to mind its own business unless its a gangster clown or a serial killer clown. These clowns, despite technically being human, are known for their violent tendencies and should not be approached under any circumstances. In either case if you feel threatened, run, call the police andor a local animal themed vigilante, and you should be fine. Step 1. 5 Understand That Supernatural Clowns Are Dangerous. If youre the only person that can see the clown, things are a wee bit more complicated because it means that the being youre dealing with is supernatural. The great thing about human clowns killer or not is that with enough willpower and adrenaline, you can put some distance between yourself and them. Supernatural clowns are a little bit trickier because no matter how far you run from them, chances are that theyll catch up using one of their inexplicable abilities. Note in some instances, regular human clowns sometime become supernatural clowns, especially after mysterious resurrections. If you see a normal clown die and then get back up, assume that youre facing with a different breed of trouble. By the time you see a supernatural clown, youve got to assume that its already seen you more than once and is only choosing to make itself visible to you now because its planning your imminent death. This might at first sound terrifying, but the most important thing to bear in mind about is that fear is the clowns greatest weapon. The more level headed you are in dealing with these things, the better chance youve got at properly fending it off. Step 2 Gather Your Wits. If you believe youve witnessed a supernatural clown, the first thing you need to do is think to yourself have I seen andor heard anything about this clown lately This could include local urban myths about clowns, news reports about mysterious clown sightings, or even something as innocuous as a random passage in a book about clowns. As scary as supernatural clowns are, they almost always have a weakness that you can exploit with a little know how. The key is figuring it out quickly enough to save your life. While you should have already called the local authorities to inform them of the clown menace prowling their streets, supernatural clowns are notorious for their ability to confound and evade people they arent immediately targeting. Whats more, theres no guarantee that the police will believe you if you try to explain that an undeaddemonicotherwise magical clown is trying to kill you. Youre more or less on your own here. Still, though, dont panic. Resist the urge to flee to your home. The clown will find and kill you there. Instead, you need to be clever. Your best bet it to flee to the nearest botanica. If you dont know what a botanica is, Google it, get directions and head there. If it has a phone number, call and try to speak with the shop owner. The owner of a botanica is exponentially better equipped to assist you with a supernatural clown than the police. If you can make it to the botanica, thats excellent. There will be a variety of goods and products there designed to ward off different kinds of malevolent beings. Again, speak with the proprietors about your clown problem theyll understand and take whatever advice they can give you. Visiting the botanica isnt a guarantee that youll have what you need to dispatch your murder clown, but it should get you in the proper creative headspace. Whether its burning it with Florida water molotov cocktails or saying the clowns true name backwards, whatever method you ultimately use to kill a clown thats trying to kill you is going to take a bit of improvisation. The more ideas you can come up with on the fly to throw at the thing, the more likely you are to walk away unscathed. If you take one piece of information away from this post, let it be this regardless of what sort of clown situation you find yourself in, youre almost always going to be winging it. If everyone knew what to do when a horrifying vision of carnivals past showed up, we wouldnt all be scared shitless of them. But again, thats ok. All you need to do is keep calm, run, and think before you scream. About Leadership, Management Team, Global, History, Awards, Corporate Responsibility. President, ESPN, and Co Chairman, Disney Media Networks. Since taking the helm as ESPN President and Co Chairman, Disney Media Networks on January 1, 2. Rolling Stone Magazine Top 500 Rapidshare on this page. John Skipper has secured ESPNs leadership position in the crowded sports media landscape into the next decade with bold moves and a commitment to championship events delivered across every available platform. Throughout, he has continued to foster what he calls our best strategic advantage the people and culture of ESPN. Most noteworthy, Skipper has led ESPN to a series of long term, multiplatform agreements with major rightsholders all through at least 2. Major League Baseball, the College Football Playoff, ACC, Big 1. US Open tennis, Rose, Sugar and Orange Bowls, WNBA, American Athletic Conference, Mountain West Conference In addition, ESPN and the SEC announced a 2. ESPN SEC Network and digital platforms, while extending the existing media rights agreement through 2. Cablevision, Cox Communications, Charter Communications, AT T U Verse, National Rural Telecommunications Cooperative NTRCAs President, Skipper has emphasized two ESPN hallmarks always looking ahead and embracing technology to serve sports fans. The largest example will debut in May 2. Digital Center 2 at the Connecticut headquarters. The facility, ESPNs largest building by far, will include numerous technical firsts and is designed to fulfill the growing commitment to mobile offerings. With an eye on fulfilling ESPNs mission to serve sports fans and growing ESPNs audience at home and abroad, Skipper has also strongly supported the evolution of the critically acclaimed ESPN Films sports documentary series the growth of the companys multimedia business in Latin America multiplatform Spanish language ESPN Deportes and espn. W, a digital initiative launched in 2. According to Skipper, to maintain the companys competitive edge, such growth, change and innovation are essential. ESPN is deeply woven into the lives of sports fans, yet we continue to seek new avenues to inform and entertain, he says, adding, We must act like an insurgent, not an incumbent. An energetic and insightful collaborator who embraces teamwork and intelligent debate to come to decisions, Skippers business relationships are defined by finding win win solutions in an increasingly complicated global media landscape. Not surprisingly, he is who ESPN strives to serve a passionate sports fan and he is extremely focused on driving business and creative success, earning him the respect of colleagues and competitors alike. Indeed, within his first year after ascending to the top spot, he was named the most influential person in sports by. Sports Business Journal. Skipper, 5. 8, had been ESPNs executive vice president, Content, since October 2. ESPN content across all media platforms, including television, radio, Internet, broadband, wireless, print, interactive games and home entertainment. He had been executive vice president, advertising sales ESPN Enterprises, since August 2. ESPN Career. In his 1. President, Skipper was a key architect of ESPNs explosive growth. He played leadership roles overseeing the companys television, digital, print and advertising sales initiatives, as well as ESPNs focus on brand extensions, bringing the companys best available screen philosophy to life across more platforms and with more wide ranging major rights agreements than at any time since ESPNs launch in 1. This strategy along with an emphasis on live sports has strengthened ESPNs unparalleled relationship with fans while meeting the growing business needs of ESPNs distributors and advertisers. Under his leadership, ESPN consistently set records for television ratings and digital consumption, and negotiated several wide ranging, major rights agreements with the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball, the BCS, FIFA, the Masters Tournament, the British Open, the USTA, Wimbledon and several college conferences. Each of those agreements was marked by a significant change that took hold under Skipper a wide swath of multimedia rights that went well beyond just television to include all forms of media, and terms that extended for a much longer period of time, sometimes a decade or more. This change of approach envisioned an evolving media world driven by the marriage of technology with content, and established stability for ESPN and all of its business partners for years to come. Skippers ability to meld creative and business success was demonstrated early when he joined ESPN in June 1. ESPN The Magazine. He oversaw one of the most successful magazine launches of the 1. During its inaugural year, the magazine earned more than 2. Best New Magazine honors from both. Advertising Age and Ad. Week magazines, as well as a 1. National Magazine Award for design. In January 2. 00. ESPN. com and in January 2. Skippers early vision on how content should be presented on digital platforms continues to pay dividends today. With ESPN. com in 2. ESPN Insider, with richer content that continues to grow, and completely revamped the sites approach to advertising. More recently, he envisioned and launched what is now ESPN3, a television network delivering 4,0. Watch ESPN authenticated app which has been downloaded more than four million times, and led the evolution of ESPN the Magazines content to include print and digital platforms. Skippers tenure overseeing customer marketing and sales was comparatively brief but very impactful he worked closely with sales leaders to create a truly integrated, cross platform sales force that continues to lead the industry today. Accomplishments, Awards and Accolades. During his years leading Content, the collective audience for ESPNs domestic television networks rose 3. ESPNs cross platform content rose 2. In both 2. 01. 0 and 2. ESPNs U. S. networks combined to set records for the most watched fiscal year in the companys history. ESPN also continued to distinguish itself with dozens of prestigious industry awards, including 3. Sports Emmy Awards, two Peabody Awards and several GLAAD, NABJ and NAMIC Vision awards. During his tenure leading the Magazine and ESPN. General Excellence Awards given by the American Society of Magazine Editors 2. ONA Online Journalism Award for General Excellence in 2. ESPN. com also won EPpy Awards given by Editor Publisher for best cable network website and best sports website twice in the past 1. Skipper has frequently appeared on several media and cable industry most influential lists, including Sports Business Journal, Cable. FAX Magazine, Business Week and The Sporting News. Prior to ESPNBefore joining ESPN The Magazine, Skipper served nearly three years as senior vice president of The Disney Publishing Group where he was in charge of all Disneys magazine, book and licensed publishing operations in the United States. Since 1. 99. 0, Skipper was vice president of Disney Magazine publishing, overseeing Disney Adventures, Discover, Family. Fun and Family PC. Prior to joining The Disney Publishing Group, Skipper held the title of president and publishing director at Spin magazine. Earlier he spent 1. Straight Arrow Publishing including eight years with Rolling Stone. At Straight Arrow, he rose to publisher of US magazine. Biographical Information.